lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
