Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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