32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
