Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
