benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
