There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
