garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
