So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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