the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
