I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
