He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
