ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
