Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
