Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
