why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
