my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've blown a few things in my day
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
