I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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