I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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