The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
