I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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