how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
