If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
