these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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