i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
