Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
