Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
