Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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