id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
