thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
