he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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