you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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