Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
