at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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