well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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