I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
