I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
