I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
