No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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