When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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