Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
