no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
