i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
