You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
