16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
