last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
