Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
