yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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