When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
