guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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