The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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