Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
